Story Published:
Feb 6, 2009 at 7:04 AM MST
Story Updated:
Feb 6, 2009 at 7:04 AM MST
BILLINGS - Many people bear their grief in silence, while others have help getting through difficult times. As part of national school counseling week, we are able to shine a little light on the importance of coping with personal tragedy. We went behind closed doors to see the strength and beauty of two twin girls who lost their mother to cancer last fall.
This story is possible only because of the willingness of the 5th grade girls and their father to share their thoughts
"Charlotte was six-years-old and lived with her dad and her favorite stuffed animal Godfrey. Charlotte just lived with her dad and not her mom because her mom is dead. Her mom died in a car accident when charlotte was five and a half," reads Helen.
"Since mom's death, Charlotte's dad had been very sad sometimes he cried he seemed busy a lot and he often didn't seem to not see or hear Charlotte. Sometimes charlotte cried too, other times she felt angry why did her mom die why couldn't her mom come back so charlotte could see her and so her dad couldn't have to be sad," Natalie reads.
Reading this book is just one of the many ways Helen and Natalie are coping with the grief of losing their mother.
Just like Charlotte's favorite stuffed animal Godfrey, Natalie has Angie.
"I have this one bear that I was making right at the same time that my mom died. And she's really special and I named her Angie because that was my mom's name," says Natalie.
"We put a heartbeat in our bear and every time we push the bear there's a heart beat," says Helen.
"Makes us remember what our mom's heartbeat was like and it makes us feel like our mom is here, alive and with us," say the girls.
Helping the girls remember their mother and relieve stress is Jan Kvilhaug, the school counselor.
"Counselors don't cover stress with a band-aid but we can help kids figure out your source of stress and how to move through it in a healthy way that's safe and fair and respectful for themselves and everyone else involved," says Kvilhaug.
"We light a candle for her every day to represent her and there's a picture and we light a candle and it means that she's happy and she's with us always," says Helen.
Sharing private thoughts in a safe environment is another way Kvilhaug and the girls can balance happiness and grief.
"We miss her and we always loved her and we really, really miss her and it's just not the same without her," the girls say.
Throughout this process they gain a level of respect for one another.
"I'll tell you what, I have learned so much from the girls. You know often times the kids end up teaching me how resilient they can be," says Kvilhaug.
It's a bond between the counselor and the girls that will continue to guide Helen and Natalie and remind them how wonderful their time with their mom was.
"She wasn't selfish she was helpful she was one of a kind says my dad. She really just was herself and she didn't care what other people thought about her she was funny she liked helping people no matter how sick she was or healthy," the girls say.
Although counselors remain quiet about the issues they deal with, their impact in numbers is huge. Kvilhaugh says one in every three students have visited with at least one of the 21 counselors in the district.
;)
