BILLINGS - Montana is known for its beauty, independent spirit and wide-open spaces. But there's a darker side to "The Last Best Place" that's often swept under the rug.

For some time, Montana was also known to those in the medical community as having the highest suicide rate per capita in the nation.

"He was a little farm kid, just comical." There are memories Char Kenney has of her son John Paul she'll cherish forever. Stories she loves to tell and pictures she loves to look at. But then there's the memory from November 20th, 2002, that'll never go away, no matter how much she wishes it would.

"It's a hurt that's with you forever. I got a call from my daughter, she said hey mom, something has happened to John. You better come up to Dad's. I got there and they said, your son is gone."

Kenney says she started noticing signs of depression in John when he was in junior high school. But in high school he made more friends and seemed better.

"It was after he graduated and got on his own that things got tough. He started drinking." When John's family noticed him going downhill they tried to help him. He was seeing a counselor but it wasn't enough. And when he felt himself losing control asked his family to take him to the hospital. He waited in the ER for hours and wasn't seen.

"That was a week before he died. I feel as if the (Community) Crisis Center was here, John would still be here." But when John died, Kenney says help was not as available as it is now. And while things are improving, Kenney says it's a fight the community hasn't yet won.

"Some people act like it's a shameful thing. These people are sick, just as if you have cancer."

Her answer is acceptance and awareness. So other mother's don't have to live with the pain she says will last for the rest of her life.

Kenney still goes to support groups and is vocal about the need to bring more suicide awareness to Montana.